One boy’s journey through Christmastime, ‘08
Before I start out my usual Christmastime/Charlie Brown-ish spiel about how I’m just not into the spirit this year, I just want to say that somewhere deep down, I can feel it stirring... it hasn’t surfaced yet, I haven’t really expressed it yet in any way, shape or form yet, but somewhere buried deep down its there... like some not yet realised cinnamon-apple scented flatulence or a doodie shaped like Jesus, Mary & Joseph...
... Okay...I’m being really gross, I admit, but I do so to really illustrate a point... Just bear with me as I work this out...
this year, for Jen & I, Christmas has been more or less canceled, at least in the secular sense... This sort of happened once before, back in 2002... we had just moved up here not 2 months prior, and were able to afford neither the time nor the expense of gifts, decorating, merriment, etc... She’d just started a job at the Credit union and I was pulling 12 hour shifts, 7 days a week at the local Toys R Us as an overnight stocker. That year was really the fist time that it hit home just how twisted and perverted our national perception of what Christmas is.
This year will be similar, though the circumstances will be a little different... For one, I still do plan to decorate (though I know time is running short)... Jen and I may also do small stuff, like stocking stuffers, (or at the very least, a tangerine in the toe of our stockings; kind of a tasty yet tradition of my family(it makes stuffing easier!). We will not, however, get each other anything... I don’t know if its due more to our tight financial situation this year (i.e. me being out of work... STILL!!), or if it has more to do with the guilt that I/we may feel spending money freely in a time where consumerism has... well... consumed us!.... Hell, for all I know, maybe that’s what we should be doing... I dunno....
I just remember not 3 weeks ago (on Black Friday) when that Wal-Mart employee was trampled to death by a mob of consumers who couldn’t wait 5 minutes to get their hands on a deeply discounted television, video game or other such nonsense... I’m still having a hard time swallowing that, and I think that a small subconscious part of me is purposely avoiding being part of any shopping crowd this year because of it (and similar events).
I don’t mean to be too negative here, though... I know most, if not all of you, at least have a base feeling of what the holidays ought to be, whether it be from a religious perspective (i.e. the birth of Jesus/the Miracle of the Oil/winter solstice/etc) or from a broader sense of altruism and/or goodwill... I acknowledge that...
But here’s my point... I’ve got what I need... I really do, man... So do all of you... Every single one of you my friends, have a roof over your heads, probably something to eat besides rice or beans, a confuser to express yourself with and the ability to read and write.... Most importantly, all of y’all are loved by at least one person in this world if only by me(if not also by your parents/friends/children/pets/etc.); Some people don’t even have that shit, man... So cling tight guys to whomever you got, and don‘t fucking let go!... That is what will always get us through any rough time... It’s these simple ordinary bonds that not only mean the most, but are absolutely positively everything!!!
.... so, in closing.....heh, heh... (here’s a new one for you); a unique holiday blessing....
{deleted by author..... I grew weary of it...}
... um... did I really just post that?
...yeah....apparently, I did....
posted by sydmatt @ 11:30 PM
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